The Payroll Pyramid: Where Your Tax Dollars Really Go

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Published on April 19, 2025

We reveal Canada’s priciest political theatre—the House of Commons. Now, brace yourself as we scale the dizzying heights of the Payroll Pyramid to find out exactly who’s cashing in.

Prepare yourselves—spreadsheets are coming.

Exhibit A: The Big Wigs and Their Price Tags
According to official disclosures covering Q2 2021 to Q2 2025,[1] the biggest spenders include:

Justin Trudeau: $13.4 million (mostly salaries and consulting contracts).
Pierre Poilievre: $9.5 million (mostly air miles, hospitality, and those mysterious consultants).
Jagmeet Singh: $6.4 million (well-rounded but far from cheap).

Combined, these three accounted for over $29 million in expenses. A moment of silence for our dear taxpayer wallets.

Staff, Snacks, and Surprise Invoices
Wondering what your millions bought? Mostly people:

Trudeau’s staffing: $12.2 million (the man loves a well-staffed meeting).
Poilievre’s staffing: $7.5 million (possibly includes motivational cheerleaders).
Singh’s staffing: $5.3 million (solidly moderate—like his coffee choices).

Now, let's talk about those juicy extras:

Travel: Poilievre ($857K), Singh ($449K), Trudeau (a surprisingly modest $10K—does he teleport?).
Consultants: Poilievre takes gold with $1.7 million, Trudeau close behind with $1.1 million, Singh rounds out at $764K. Who exactly are these shadowy figures? Stay tuned.
Hospitality: Poilievre’s $122K likely funded endless strategy brunches, while Singh ($52K) opted for smaller muffins. Trudeau? Virtually zero. Did anyone invite him?

The Role of Roles: Who Costs the Most?
Top pricey parliamentary roles:

Leader, Official Opposition (mostly Poilievre and previously O’Toole)
Prime Minister (Trudeau, obviously)
National Caucus Research Offices (where facts go to get expensive makeovers)

These roles come with teams, offices, endless coffee runs, and travel that rivals a rock star tour.

Plot Twist Alert: Conservatives Outspend Everyone
Surprise, surprise! Despite their constant calls for belt-tightening, Conservatives topped the spending charts—especially their National Caucus Research Office, spending over $12 million. Liberals trailed slightly behind with roughly $10 million. NDP and Bloc? Economically cautious, creatively modest.

Plot twist: fiscal responsibility isn’t always fiscally responsible.

Conclusion: A Comedy of Fiscal Errors
Regardless of party colour, each spends like they're auditioning for Canada's Got Expenses. Turns out fiscal responsibility might just be a catchy campaign jingle.

Next up, Chapter 3 promises a thrilling exposé into the mysterious land of contracts and consultants—who’s getting outsourced, for what, and why.

As always, your fiscal friend and comedic accountant,

Sir Looniesworth

_Reference:
[1]: House of Commons Proactive Disclosure Reports, Q2 2021 – Q2 2025, accessible here.