Published on May 24, 2025
Dear Mr. Poilievre,
You’ve won my respect by exposing government waste—just ease up on the personal digs. Canadians need sharp ideas, not sharper elbows. Here are five clear fights that can keep Ottawa on its toes and everyday folks in the ring.
1. Make Homes People Can Actually Buy
House prices sprint; paycheques crawl. Set real targets—how many homes, how fast, and which postal codes get concrete first. Post a public scoreboard every quarter so we can spot builders and bluffers at a glance.
2. Put the Bite on Big Grocers
Food inflation may cool, yet bread still costs like steak. Give the Competition Bureau proper teeth and force every chain to show a price‑breakdown label (wheat, transport, markup). The sunshine will melt the markup.
3. Cut the Medical Line‑Up
Waiting half a year for surgery isn’t “universal care”—it’s limbo. Cap wait‑times, fast‑track foreign‑trained pros who have already passed tougher exams abroad, and swap extra federal cash for posted targets provinces must hit.
4. Trim the Government Waistline
Families tighten belts; Ottawa adds notches. Publish a yearly tax receipt listing every MP’s flights, meals, and gadget splurges. Nobody orders lobster when the menu’s on livestream.
5. Build a Dashboard Nation
We can’t fix what we don’t measure. Create one central intake portal where every ministry logs the money it gets and the work it delivers—visible to voters in real time.
- Cost per outcome: If a hospital treated 30 patients on $30 000, that’s $1 000 per patient. Do the same for courts (cases closed per dollar) and grants (dollars per job created).
- Traffic‑light ratings: Green for on target, yellow for slipping, red for “call the auditor.”
- Justice spotlight: Post court backlogs, average sentencing times, and judge‑to‑case ratios so we know if justice is delayed—or missing entirely.
With simple numbers we’ll see which parts of government hum and which wheeze like an old lawnmower. Accountability becomes a math problem, not a shouting match.
Buckle Up for Progress
Folks don’t crave perfect speeches—just honest effort: a house they can afford, food they can swallow without swallowing pride, care that shows up before it hurts, and an open book on where each tax dollar goes.
Grab these five battles, skate hard (there’s my one Canadian reference), and keep the elbows down. We’ll cheer from the cheap seats every time the scoreboard ticks green.
Sir Looniesworth
Chief Satirist, Eh‑Conomics Blog